The Wall

Lo and behold.  Our scan last week revealed that our baby twins are growing fat and happy.  What a relief it was to quell my irrational fears.  The babies are still there, they haven't performed a vanishing act and disappeared into thin air, nor have they been abducted by some kind of infertile alien.  No, there they are, sitting on their bottoms taking it all in. (Mmmmm, let's hope that's not a sign of things to come!).

They are now 29 weeks, or 7 months, or birth minus approx 7 weeks.  I'm as prepared as I can practically be; however, the emotions that ensued I could not prepare for.  Xmas Day was the milestone for me - that was the date that I wanted to reach because Arthur & Martha would be at the 7 month mark and  it then all "becomes real".  Well, from Xmas Day, can I tell you, hellllooooo emotions!  And why?  Because my "wall" is crumbling.  It's crumbling, because it can; my dependency on this barricade that has taken me years to build as a self protection measure is falling apart.  I no longer have to hide behind it when I'm faced with a situation I don't want to be in, but have to be, involving children, ie other people's children.  The wall is crumbling, almost piece by piece, and my emotions are opening up and leaking through.  In other words, I am a bumbling mess.  But I am relieved; relieved at the fact that I will soon no longer need the wall. 

On another note, our visas arrived today which took less than one week to process.  Flights have been arranged, accommodation booked, maternity leave confirmed, nursery established.  Now all we have to do is wait......... I do agree with Suzie though, the time is FLYING and has gone so quickly.  This time last year, our area was hard hit with devastating floods; we had just returned from a trip to the UK and were unable to return to work as we couldn't get out of our street.  To think that so much has happened in the course of a year...to think so much will change in the matter of weeks..... yikes and yippee

Christmas was lovely; we received many lovely gifts from our family for the babies, particularly two beautiful mobiles that have been imported from Asia.  They are a type of paper mache - one with brightly coloured birds, the other with elephants.  They will be treasured forever. 

For those starting out on their journey, I truly hope 2012 will be a wonderful year for you.  It has taken us a lot of years and heartache to get there, but it certainly looks like 2012 will be the wonderful year we have been seeking for so long.