Nine weeks & conflict

Well, today marks the nine week mark and unbelievably, the time has gone quickly.  All is well with our two surrogate mothers and the secrets they are carrying for us with heartbeats and growth all being normal.  In the background, we are trying to carry on as per normal, as normal as can be, however this is becoming increasingly more difficult.  More difficult than I thought actually.  Whilst we are cautiously excited and optimistic, it is really hard to maintain normality at work, particularly with my boss.  Plans for next year, budgeting, resources, staffing - discussions are all taking place now.  A part of me does not want to mention anything to my boss as it's far too early, but I'm caught somewhere between loyalty and rationality.  It would make it so much easier for my employer to know the details NOW, for financial reasons, but I can't.  There are times when I feel like blurting it out, but how would it sound without any thought given to my words "Richard, I'm expecting but I'm not pregnant and I will need to take either maternity or adoption leave early next year to pick up some babies from India".  mmmm, I think I will hold off a little longer....it's too hard to think about at the moment! 

We have told close family members, all of whom are very happy for us.  We have been in the process of consolidating our cars and of course, thought has been given to an extended family and the carrying capacity of a new vehicle.  It is quite funny to see the expression on the faces of strangers, when we mention why we may need a large vehicle.  They are cautious and you can literally hear their thoughts "did they say grandchildren??".Whilst I'm 44, Jim has turned the big 50, but at long last, we have found our purpose in life.   Ok, we've said it, we've actually told people who we don't know what we are doing. It's actually quite fun.... but I'm sure it's going to be a whole lot different when it comes to work.....  

On reading blogs by Dr Shivani's clients, I feel privileged to be a part of this exclusive minority group who are all sharing the same journey.  It is a pretty special group.  On the baby front, scans are due again next Monday; I have never looked forward to the end of a weekend so much before!

Early Days

The long awaited result from our 2ww is yes & yes.  We have multiples in both surrogates.  Heartbeats are all present and all is well at this very early stage of 7 weeks (today).  Next week we hopefully will have a better idea how everything is progressing.  In the meantime, we literally jump to the phone when its ring tone notifies us that we have received an email.  Of course it is usually something that I have subscribed years ago and I have forgotten to cancel THAT subscription.  I am also guilty of checking my phone (yes, placed very strategically on my bedside table to accommodate a quick retrieval in the middle of the night without turning the light on) at least once a night, just in case I may not have heard an email come through.  I'm not sure why I wouldn't hear it - I have the tone turned up as loud as possible, to the point of embarrassing when it sounds during the day! 

It is hard to be cautious whilst remaining optimistic; and vice versa.  Our chances are good, but then so would one think would be the case with fertility and falling pregnant naturally.  I once had a boss that told me that woman are placed on the earth to breed; he sincerely believed it.  Yet I wonder now what his thoughts are on surrogacy.   I'm quietly wondering how people will react, such as my colleagues, when all is revealed.  I know one thing - negativity won't be tolerated!  I am not too old (44 in a couple of days) and no,  I do not want to start thinking about retirement.  Watch out people, accept or be told!!!

Krissie & Jim