Well, today marks the nine week mark and unbelievably, the time has gone quickly. All is well with our two surrogate mothers and the secrets they are carrying for us with heartbeats and growth all being normal. In the background, we are trying to carry on as per normal, as normal as can be, however this is becoming increasingly more difficult. More difficult than I thought actually. Whilst we are cautiously excited and optimistic, it is really hard to maintain normality at work, particularly with my boss. Plans for next year, budgeting, resources, staffing - discussions are all taking place now. A part of me does not want to mention anything to my boss as it's far too early, but I'm caught somewhere between loyalty and rationality. It would make it so much easier for my employer to know the details NOW, for financial reasons, but I can't. There are times when I feel like blurting it out, but how would it sound without any thought given to my words "Richard, I'm expecting but I'm not pregnant and I will need to take either maternity or adoption leave early next year to pick up some babies from India". mmmm, I think I will hold off a little longer....it's too hard to think about at the moment!
We have told close family members, all of whom are very happy for us. We have been in the process of consolidating our cars and of course, thought has been given to an extended family and the carrying capacity of a new vehicle. It is quite funny to see the expression on the faces of strangers, when we mention why we may need a large vehicle. They are cautious and you can literally hear their thoughts "did they say grandchildren??".Whilst I'm 44, Jim has turned the big 50, but at long last, we have found our purpose in life. Ok, we've said it, we've actually told people who we don't know what we are doing. It's actually quite fun.... but I'm sure it's going to be a whole lot different when it comes to work.....
On reading blogs by Dr Shivani's clients, I feel privileged to be a part of this exclusive minority group who are all sharing the same journey. It is a pretty special group. On the baby front, scans are due again next Monday; I have never looked forward to the end of a weekend so much before!
Sunday, 14 August 2011
Monday, 1 August 2011
Early Days
The long awaited result from our 2ww is yes & yes. We have multiples in both surrogates. Heartbeats are all present and all is well at this very early stage of 7 weeks (today). Next week we hopefully will have a better idea how everything is progressing. In the meantime, we literally jump to the phone when its ring tone notifies us that we have received an email. Of course it is usually something that I have subscribed years ago and I have forgotten to cancel THAT subscription. I am also guilty of checking my phone (yes, placed very strategically on my bedside table to accommodate a quick retrieval in the middle of the night without turning the light on) at least once a night, just in case I may not have heard an email come through. I'm not sure why I wouldn't hear it - I have the tone turned up as loud as possible, to the point of embarrassing when it sounds during the day!
It is hard to be cautious whilst remaining optimistic; and vice versa. Our chances are good, but then so would one think would be the case with fertility and falling pregnant naturally. I once had a boss that told me that woman are placed on the earth to breed; he sincerely believed it. Yet I wonder now what his thoughts are on surrogacy. I'm quietly wondering how people will react, such as my colleagues, when all is revealed. I know one thing - negativity won't be tolerated! I am not too old (44 in a couple of days) and no, I do not want to start thinking about retirement. Watch out people, accept or be told!!!
Krissie & Jim
It is hard to be cautious whilst remaining optimistic; and vice versa. Our chances are good, but then so would one think would be the case with fertility and falling pregnant naturally. I once had a boss that told me that woman are placed on the earth to breed; he sincerely believed it. Yet I wonder now what his thoughts are on surrogacy. I'm quietly wondering how people will react, such as my colleagues, when all is revealed. I know one thing - negativity won't be tolerated! I am not too old (44 in a couple of days) and no, I do not want to start thinking about retirement. Watch out people, accept or be told!!!
Krissie & Jim
Saturday, 9 July 2011
Fast forward 3 months....
Three months have gone so fast, and so much seems to have happened, yet really not that much to report. It really does seems like eons ago since we started our surrogacy journey.....
Following our first trip to India in late April, we ended up with a "weak" positive result. Whilst we remained hopeful, we knew what this meant, and this proved to be correct after three blood tests. Our lovely surrogate mother then miscarried, but we were reasonably prepared following the beta results which were coming through each 48 hours. I still recall that first email from SCI late on a Monday night, hearing an email come through my phone (of course situated on my bedside table!), knowing that this would be the pregnancy results. I was shaking almost to the point that I couldn't open the message. Unfortunately the news wasn't good from the start. We had transferred three embryos and had frozen three, however these were not the best.
We remained focused and knew that we wanted to pursue this direction in our life; how could we not. The decision to pursue surrogacy is not made lightly, but it is funny how it now seems the "norm". It certainly is to us to the point that our conversations would not be comprehensible to others (and this is something that we must remember!). At this point we have only told the immediate family what we are doing, Jim's two teenage daughters, his mum, my dad and brother. My mum passed away last year, but I know that she would be happy for me.
Our second attempt occurred two months and one day after the first, only because we could not re-enter India any sooner and had to wait two months. We applied for a multi-visit visa which we were granted and were off again on the 26 July. We had decided not to use the frozen embryos, time isn't on our side and we were worried about the quality of Jim's sperm. Jim had a sperm extraction on the first visit, and due to the quality, none were frozen.
It was quite incredible how familiar Delhi seemed on the second visit. In honesty, it was good to be back and actually doing something rather than talking about it! The second attempt started better than the first; sperm quality was better and our wonderful egg donor had a lovely nest of eggs. This all resulted in a transfer of five embryos to one surrogate mother and four to another. I am glad we met these lovely ladies, even though words cannot express our gratitude I'm sure they got the message! So, we are now in our 2WW again.
We cannot thank SCI enough. They are far exceeding our expectations of dealing with a surrogacy agency in India, if you ever could imagine what that might be like. Their professionalism, time management and wonderful personable staff would put a lot of western organisations to shame.
Krissie & Jim
Following our first trip to India in late April, we ended up with a "weak" positive result. Whilst we remained hopeful, we knew what this meant, and this proved to be correct after three blood tests. Our lovely surrogate mother then miscarried, but we were reasonably prepared following the beta results which were coming through each 48 hours. I still recall that first email from SCI late on a Monday night, hearing an email come through my phone (of course situated on my bedside table!), knowing that this would be the pregnancy results. I was shaking almost to the point that I couldn't open the message. Unfortunately the news wasn't good from the start. We had transferred three embryos and had frozen three, however these were not the best.
We remained focused and knew that we wanted to pursue this direction in our life; how could we not. The decision to pursue surrogacy is not made lightly, but it is funny how it now seems the "norm". It certainly is to us to the point that our conversations would not be comprehensible to others (and this is something that we must remember!). At this point we have only told the immediate family what we are doing, Jim's two teenage daughters, his mum, my dad and brother. My mum passed away last year, but I know that she would be happy for me.
Our second attempt occurred two months and one day after the first, only because we could not re-enter India any sooner and had to wait two months. We applied for a multi-visit visa which we were granted and were off again on the 26 July. We had decided not to use the frozen embryos, time isn't on our side and we were worried about the quality of Jim's sperm. Jim had a sperm extraction on the first visit, and due to the quality, none were frozen.
It was quite incredible how familiar Delhi seemed on the second visit. In honesty, it was good to be back and actually doing something rather than talking about it! The second attempt started better than the first; sperm quality was better and our wonderful egg donor had a lovely nest of eggs. This all resulted in a transfer of five embryos to one surrogate mother and four to another. I am glad we met these lovely ladies, even though words cannot express our gratitude I'm sure they got the message! So, we are now in our 2WW again.
We cannot thank SCI enough. They are far exceeding our expectations of dealing with a surrogacy agency in India, if you ever could imagine what that might be like. Their professionalism, time management and wonderful personable staff would put a lot of western organisations to shame.
Krissie & Jim
Tuesday, 5 April 2011
The beginning...
I'm not usually a blogger and find writing about my life somewhat uncomfortable. Hence I'm not an avid Facebooker and I am considered odd (by gen zero intelligence) that my "friends" are less than 100. However, I am drawn to reading blogs of courageous people who have undertaken the journey of surrogacy. Why courageous? Because it is only the small minority who could fully understand the concept and miracle of surrogacy, and then proceed down the path of fulfilling their dream. The vast majority unfortunately see it another light; usually because they don't perceive it as normal. This is "normal" to some and what a journey!
In two weeks, we head to India to initiate our attempt at having a child through surrogacy. Each blog I read, in some way, prepares us for this jouney. If I can, in turn, offer just one small ounce of courage to someone contemplating this direction, then this blog will all be worth it!
There are two things I am sure of. I love my husband, and I love my cats. And yes, in that order, most of the time. My husband and I came together after having a life elsewhere. I was married then divorced, then travelled and lived very independently. My husband had a family with now two daughters in their late teens. I always thought the family thing wasn't for me. Then things changed. I'm not sure when, or how. But it did and I realised that a loving husband, the adventure holidays and my collection of cats were no longer enough, anymore. Conception was impossible for us and after failed IVF attempts, this is the path we have chosen. We are very excited and am looking forward to our short trip to India.
In two weeks, we head to India to initiate our attempt at having a child through surrogacy. Each blog I read, in some way, prepares us for this jouney. If I can, in turn, offer just one small ounce of courage to someone contemplating this direction, then this blog will all be worth it!
There are two things I am sure of. I love my husband, and I love my cats. And yes, in that order, most of the time. My husband and I came together after having a life elsewhere. I was married then divorced, then travelled and lived very independently. My husband had a family with now two daughters in their late teens. I always thought the family thing wasn't for me. Then things changed. I'm not sure when, or how. But it did and I realised that a loving husband, the adventure holidays and my collection of cats were no longer enough, anymore. Conception was impossible for us and after failed IVF attempts, this is the path we have chosen. We are very excited and am looking forward to our short trip to India.
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